“Commit random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” Anyone remember that phrase from the ‘90’s? It’s still a wonderful sentiment a couple of decades later. Let’s go retro and show more kindness.
Take a moment and ask yourself: Where can I be more kind? At work is a good guess – many workplaces are so busy that the “niceties” get lost in the quest for productivity. So, pay a compliment to a co-worker (extra credit if you don’t usually get along well with them or don’t like them). If a compliment is too much of a stretch, at least refrain from a criticism. Kindness can be as much what we don’t say as what we say.
Home is prime territory for increasing kindness. It’s easy in the rush of life to take our family members for granted and become short with them. To counteract that, we can make the effort to notice and acknowledge the everyday things that family members do right, rather than the things they don’t do to our liking. The more good we look for, the more we’ll see.
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Most of us say mean stuff to ourselves that we would never say to others; things like “you’re so fat”, “that was stupid”, or “what an idiot”. When we’re mean to ourselves, it’s harder to be kind to others. We’re happier if we try to only say things to ourselves that we would say to someone we love very much.
What about when we’re out and about? At first it may seem difficult to meet the outer world with kindness – there is a lot of nastiness being expressed in public spaces both physical and electronic. We can start by cutting others a bit of slack. We don’t know what is going on in their lives. They’re likely stressed – maybe they are sandwiched between raising children and caring for aging parents. Maybe they or someone close to them is battling cancer. Or maybe they just didn’t get enough sleep the night before.
If we cultivate kindness as our first response, it will leave that little opening for compassion to slip in. Our small act of kindness could make their day. Kindness is contagious, so receiving it will encourage others to respond likewise and pass it along.
Kindness can begin to displace fear as the filter through which we see the world. It helps us knit back together the rips in our social fabric. Kindness is apolitical and not dependent on religion or skin color – it’s an across-humanity thing. And kindness can be a balm after unpleasantness.
Kindness does not necessarily have to be quiet and calm, either. Sometimes, it’s kind to make someone laugh uproariously or take them out for a night on the town.
Our kindness to another could make our day, as well – being kind feels good. There’s a glow we carry with us after we’re especially considerate with others. Yes, occasionally being snarky in our thoughts lets off steam, but, on balance, we feel better after kind thoughts and acts. Research shows that kindness is one of the things that contributes to our own happiness. Given the obvious benefits to others, being kind is both selfless and selfish, a lovely combination.
We can focus on quick acts of kindness or go all-in, spending an entire day volunteering on a worthy project. Or maybe setting up a regular volunteer gig would work best. The possibilities are delightfully numerous. Let’s all model kindness for each other. We could certainly use it.